The 5 Types of Softball Moms

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There aren’t too many sports parents that are more dedicated to the game than softball moms. They yell, they scream, they cheer. They know the rules better than the coaches and the umpires.

We’ve noticed over the years that most softball moms tend to fall into one of 5 categories. Which of these softball moms are you?
human bullhorn

The human bullhorn is a special breed indeed. You can hear her as soon as she gets out of the car in the parking lot and her voice booms across the field as she yells and cheers in a deep baritone.

Her volume level is barely tolerable when she’s speaking in a normal tone. Get within 20 feet of her during game time and you risk permanent damage to your eardrums.

The lit fuse

Talk to her at practice or outside of game time and she’s nice enough, but something changes in this softball mom once the game starts.

It’s like she’s got a little bomb inside her and someone just lit the fuse. You know she’s going to go off at some point. You just don’t know when and there’s no telling how big the explosion is going to be.

Go ahead and make the wrong call when this mom’s in the stands, blue. I dare ya!

the critic

 The critic will drive you absolutely insane if you get stuck talking to her during a game.

She points out every single mistake every kid on the team makes…except for when her own kid makes a mistake. Then she blames it on the pitcher, the catcher, the umpire, the coaching, the field and anything else she can place the blame on.

The worst part is, every team seems to have one. Don’t know who the critic on your team is? Then it’s probably¬†you!

the color commentator

Here’s another Softball Mom every team seems to have at least one of.

The color commentator insists on recapping the entire game in full Dolby Surround Sound, as it happens.

Sit close enough to this mom and you get a full play-by-play recap of the game. Oh, it’s a hit to the shortstop. Oooh, she missed the ball. It bounced right off her glove. Whoa, look at that throw. She threw it over the dugout.

The color commentator usually gets along well with the critic. If you’re lucky, you’ll have two or three color commentators and critics you can herd together. Then they’ll commentate to one another and leave the rest of the parents to watch the game.

the super mom

She’s faster than a speeding softball. Stronger than the smell of gym socks after a tournament. No grass stain is too tough for her to get out of a uniform. She’s Super Softball Mom.

This is the mom we all strive to be. It isn’t easy balancing work, school, practices and tournaments, but somehow we manage to get the job done. Let’s face it ladies, we’re all Super Softball Moms in our own right!

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3 Responses

  1. Cindy Knowles says:

    I’m the super softball mom and the bull horn!

  2. WENDY DOHRN says:

    I GOT A GOOD CHUCKLE OUT OF THESE, I AM SO THE HUMAN BULLHORN, LIT FUSE AND SUPERMON ALL ROLLED INTO ONE.

  3. Lisa says:

    Oh, I can think of several more: the photographer, the pacer, the scorekeeper, the stealth (the one you NEVER see).

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